Christmas can be an exciting time. But changes to routines, late nights and busy celebrations can also feel overwhelming.
If your child has epilepsy, a little planning can help. These 12 tips can help you create a calmer Christmas that works for your family.
Everyone’s epilepsy is different. Think about your child’s needs, seizure triggers and what helps them feel comfortable.
Nicole and Solomon’s story
Solomon had his first seizure in July 2020. His mum, Nicole, felt frightened, confused and unprepared.
Over the next few weeks, Solomon had two more seizures. He was then diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy. Nicole felt relieved to have an explanation, but the diagnosis also brought a new set of worries.
Tests were difficult for Solomon because of his sensory sensitivities. His electroencephalogram, known as an EEG, and magnetic resonance imaging scan, known as an MRI, felt overwhelming. Nicole wished the family had received more help to prepare for them.
The family also had to learn about Solomon’s seizure triggers. They found that excitement and stress could trigger his seizures.
Christmas can bring plenty of both. Decorations, visitors, music and changes to familiar plans may become too much. That does not mean families need to avoid Christmas fun. It means finding a way to celebrate that suits their child.
These 12 tips may help.
1: Keep familiar routines
Christmas often changes the usual shape of the day. Meals may be later, bedtime can slip and families may travel or stay somewhere new.
Try to keep important routines as familiar as you can. This might include:
- Getting up and going to bed at the usual time
- Eating meals at familiar times
- Taking medication as prescribed
- Keeping part of the day free for rest
You do not have to follow the routine perfectly. Choose the parts that matter most to your child.
2: Plan time to rest
Christmas days can become very busy. Your child may need time away from visitors, noise or activities.
Build quiet breaks into your plans before your child becomes tired or overwhelmed. You could read together, watch a favourite programme or spend time in a calm room.
Let other people know that these breaks are part of your child’s day. They are not a sign that your child is being rude or does not want to join in.
3: Choose decorations that work for your child
Bright or flashing lights can be seizure triggers for some young people. Decorations can also feel overwhelming for young people with sensory sensitivities.
Choose lighting and decorations your child feels comfortable with. You could:
- Use steady lights instead of flashing lights.
- Add decorations slowly rather than all at once.
- Keep your child’s bedroom or quiet space free from decorations.
- Let your child help choose what goes up.
Ask your child how the decorations make them feel. If they cannot tell you, watch for signs that they may be uncomfortable.
4: Make gatherings easier
Large family gatherings can be noisy and tiring. Your child may find it hard to cope with lots of people, sounds and conversations.
If possible, keep gatherings small or spread visits over several days. Tell visitors when your child needs space or quiet time.
Your child might prefer to say hello for a short time and then leave the room. Make it clear that this is OK.
If you are visiting someone else, ask if there will be a quiet room your child can use.
5: Keep medication in mind
It can be easy to lose track of time during the Christmas holidays. Try to keep your child’s medication routine the same.
You could:
- Set reminders on your phone
- Pack medication before travelling
- Take enough medication for the whole visit
- Keep written information about your child’s medication with you.
- Check that another trusted adult knows what your child needs
Speak to your child’s healthcare team if you have questions about their medication. Do not make changes without talking to them first.
6: Look out for signs that your child needs a break
Your child may show you that they are tired or overwhelmed before they say it.
They may become quiet, upset, anxious or irritable. They might cover their ears, leave the room or struggle to join in.
Learn the signs that are normal for your child. If you notice them, offer a break without making a fuss.
You could agree on a word, gesture or picture your child can use when they need to leave.
7: Tell friends and family what helps
Friends and relatives may want to help, but they might not know what your child needs.
Before a visit, explain what helps your child feel safe and comfortable. Keep the information simple and practical.
For example, you could ask people to:
- Keep music at a lower volume
- Avoid flashing decorations
- Give your child time and space
- Let your child leave an activity without questioning them
- Learn what to do if your child has a seizure
Ask visitors not to put pressure on your child to hug, talk, eat or join in. Let your child take part in their own way.
8: Show your child what will happen
Unexpected changes can be difficult. A simple plan can help your child know what to expect.
You could use:
- A written list
- Pictures or symbols
- A calendar
- Photos of the people or places involved
Include important details, such as when visitors will arrive and when they will leave. Add quiet time and familiar activities too.
Plans sometimes change. If this happens, explain the change clearly and give your child time to adjust.
9: Pack a calm kit
A calm kit can help your child feel more comfortable when you are away from home.
Ask your child what they would like to include. It might contain:
- Headphones or ear defenders
- A favourite toy or book
- A comfort item
- A familiar snack
- A tablet or music player
- Something your child likes to hold or play with
Keep the kit nearby instead of packing it at the bottom of a bag. Make sure your child knows they can use it whenever they need it.
10: Give yourself permission to say no
You do not have to attend every party, visit or event.
It is OK to leave early, change your plans or spend Christmas at home. You know your child and what works for your family.
Think about which activities matter most. Leave space between them, rather than trying to fit everything into a few days.
A calmer Christmas is not a lesser Christmas. The most important thing is that your child feels safe, included and able to enjoy the day.
11: Involve your child in the plans
Ask your child what they enjoy about Christmas and what they find difficult.
They might want to choose:
- Which decorations you use
- What music you play
- Who comes to visit
- Which activities they join
- What food you have
- When they take a break
Give them simple choices if a long list feels too much. For example, ask whether they would prefer to watch a film or play a game.
Listening to your child can help them feel more prepared and in control.
12: Plan regular food and drinks
Christmas meals may happen later than usual. Busy activities can also make it easy to miss a snack or drink.
Try to keep meals as regular as possible. Pack familiar snacks when you go out and encourage your child to drink throughout the day.
If certain foods are part of your child’s treatment plan, speak to their healthcare team before making changes.
Christmas does not have to be perfect
Christmas can come with a lot of pressure. You may feel that you should attend every event, follow every tradition and make each moment special.
But your child may enjoy a quieter celebration.
A familiar film, a simple meal or time together could become your family’s favourite tradition. Focus on the moments your child enjoys, rather than what you think Christmas should look like.
You are not alone
After Solomon’s diagnosis, Nicole spent many hours searching for clear information. She tried to piece together the support her family needed.
Nicole is grateful for the information Young Epilepsy provides. She wants other families to receive the right support from the start.
If your child has recently been diagnosed with epilepsy, you may feel frightened or unsure too. We are here to help you find trusted information and understand the next steps.
A diagnosis of epilepsy can leave a family with many questions.
Your support can help children, young people and families find clear information when they need it. It can help them feel understood and less alone.
This Christmas, you can help us be there for more families like Nicole and Solomon’s.
Support children newly diagnosed with epilepsy this Christmas
